How Does CBT Therapy Help Improve Low Self-Esteem?

aliciafrimley
Jul 11
4 min read

Alicia Frimley, The Self-Worth Therapist, specialising in CBT to improve self-esteem

Ever wish you could just cancel everything, make a cuppa, crawl under a blanket… and finally rest?

But instead... you just keep going?

You show up, you smile, you say yes. Even when your whole body’s whispering no!

You keep the peace. You remember everyone else’s needs. You follow through on commitments you never really wanted to make, and sit in rooms you don’t want to be in, smiling at people you didn’t want to see.

And beneath it all? That quiet, heavy feeling of:

“Why am I like this?”
Never quite feeling like you’re allowed to stop.
Worrying you’ll let someone down if you say no.
"I should be coping better by now" — maybe even enjoying all of this.

If any of that sounds familiar, I’m really glad you’ve found your way here.

You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’ve just learned to survive by putting yourself last.

CBT can help you unlearn that. Gently, safely, and at your pace.

This blog explores how CBT for low self-esteem can help you break the cycle of self-doubt and people-pleasing, and build a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Visit my 1:1 therapy page to learn more

Book a 15 minute call with me

What Is CBT for Self-Esteem – and Why Does It Work for Building Confidence?

CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) for self-esteem helps you understand the patterns that keep you stuck, and learn ways to change them.

✨It’s not about fixing you — it’s about freeing you.

A CBT cycle showing the link between thoughts, feelings and behaviours — This simple diagram shows how our **thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and behaviours** are all connected.

When you’re stuck in low self-worth, it’s easy to spiral without realising what’s feeding what. Maybe one critical thought leads to a wave of shame, a tight chest, and the urge to cancel plans or over-apologise.

CBT helps you map out that cycle, so you can:

Understand why you react the way you do
Spot your patterns with more compassion
And learn small, powerful ways to shift them

This is where real change begins — not by forcing yourself to “just think differently,” but by gently disrupting the cycle so it no longer runs your life.

Maybe you’ve already tried being “positive” and reading self-help guides, but the self-doubt still lingers. That’s because the beliefs behind low self-worth often run deep. They’re shaped by old experiences you barely remember, and reinforced by the way you treat yourself now.

CBT doesn’t just try to shut down your thoughts or push past them. It gets curious.

Where did these beliefs start?
Why do you treat yourself the way you do?
What would it look like to do it differently?

💬 The Roots of Low Self-Esteem Aren’t Shallow

Low self-esteem isn’t just a confidence issue. It’s often rooted in deep, painful beliefs like:

I’m not good enough
I’m a burden
I have to be perfect to feel safe

These beliefs affect the way you show up in relationships, the way you speak to yourself, and the way you move through the world.

🌀 CBT for self-esteem helps you spot these patterns, make sense of where they come from, and learn to respond differently; with more self-trust and less self-blame.

🧠For some people, that means unlearning things like:

Always needing to be perfect to feel safe
Saying yes when you want to say no, just to keep the peace
Believing that your worth depends on how much you achieve or give to others

🧠For others, it means gently working through past experiences that left them feeling:

not good enough
unwanted
unsafe

🔍 Real Talk: What CBT for Self-Esteem Might Look Like in Practice

Whether you're stuck in self-doubt, spiralling into overthinking, or just exhausted from always trying to “be okay”, CBT gives you practical, life-changing tools.